If my mom wasn't my mom...
|Me:||I can't talk in here.|
|Me:||because I'm at the hospital.|
|Oh my god|
|Me:||I can't talk in here.|
|Me:||because I'm at the hospital.|
|Oh my god|
I messaged her after a month because I need a place to crash when I hang out with a friend. She was mad that I just blocked her out of my life so easily and she desperately search for someone to fill this void in her life. I see, in less than a month, that we stopped talking, she’s already getting serious with someone else. She was a child when I told her we would never be and it just confirms the fact I would never be happy unless I say yes YES please just fucking own me. I was even having small talk with this mtf on tindr because I’m down to making platonic friends but even though she’s a girl now, she’s still thinking with her dick. Keep asking me to be friends with benefits and she stopped talking to me when I said I’m now saving myself until I’m in a relationship… when I’m ready to be. Yes, I made a couple of friends but one of them has a girlfriend and one of them is dating a bunch of girls and in the end, I will be alone. I will always be alone unless I say yes. I told myself the next time I’m with a girl and she wants to be together, I’ll give up what I loved most about myself, to be independent and to be happy, just so I wouldn’t be left behind in this relationship-ridden world. I’m ready to feel human, I typed, as my heart jolts from panic.
This makes me sick.
|S:||Aren't you dating someone?|
|Me:||Oh she and I are over.|
|Me:||She wanted her phone back because I would never be with her officially so I blocked her so I can keep her phone|
|Me:||~learning the best from the master~|
|Me:||Thanks boo for being in my life|
|S:||Oh god you're welcome! If I can be a positive influence, I'm glad it's on you!!|
|S:||Well I hope you didn't get hurt?|
|Me:||Nope, and it makes me me wonder if I could ever genuinely like someone if I can easily dispose of them if I want to.|
|Me:||Do you want to carve a pumpkin with me today?|
|Sister:||Okay. Are you home?|
|Me:||Do you want to work out later?|
|Me:||Do you want to go to a haunted house later?|
|Me:||I'm going to play ball with a friend for a hour.|
|Me:||Nvm the club is closed.|
|Me:||WHY AREN'T YOU TEXTING ME BACK|
|Me:||Do you NOT love me anymore|
Basically all my friends have a S/O or a boo
Well, I have a BROSKI
no drama, no intimacy, and we just talk about ~bitches~
or really, I listen to him talk about bitches
"Oh my god, my pee is so beautiful." It’s clear, healthy and with a hint of yellow from vitamin B12.
If you’re a girl with clear piss, please, don’t hesitate to talk to me.
After playing “Hanging out and relaxing” playlist on Spotify and Love More by Jason Mraz comes on:
"THIS IS BULLSHIT." How is LOVE MORE relaxing? Can there be relaxing songs NOT about love?
After seeing a spider even though I was a vegetarian for a year:
"YOU’RE DEAD." and I swung my notebook on it.
things you don’t point out about people:
- body hair in places you’re not used to it being???
- fat rolls/curves
- how much/how little they’re eating
- how skinny they are/what bones they can see because of how skinny they are
- How fat they are.
- If they have crooked or misaligned teeth maybe even yellowed
- If they sweat a lot
don’t do it
THE GUY I MET LAST NIGHT SURFS, HIKES, SKI, AND DOES FUN RUNS.
PLEASE BE MY FRIEND.
Last night was so crazy and random, I hope I didn’t get any diseases please.
I’ve NEVER felt so shitty waking up. I mean, yes, I did take random drinks from strangers but how the hell do you refuse free drinks?
I’m surprised I made it home alive. I rode home with my friend’s ex girlfriend and girl, she was drunk but not as drunk as I was since throughout the ride, I was like puking out of her car… kids… please eat before you drink a shit load or you will puke like there’s no end.
So yesterday, I was just planning on working out after work but when I got to work, my co worker asked me if I wanted to go to the club with her and her friends tonight and I said, “I’m not old enough.” but she said I could borrow her friend’s ID. I was like, “Oh ya! Customers have asked if we were sisters…” like one time and the customer was white. But ya know, good enough.
So after work, I rushed straight home and got ready, and believe ME, if I wasn’t trying to sneak into a 21+ club, I would not have wore fucking high heels, jesus lord, I was in pain the whole night.
I went into Safeway to buy a bit of food to cash out because I was not about to walk across the street to the bank with my HELL HEELS ON.
It was so embarrassing last night, I was blushing non stop. I walked into my work place and BASICALLY ALL MY COWORKERS WERE LIKE, “Jenny, is THAT YOU?” and I was like, “oh my god yes I was trying to avoid you…” and they were like, “My god, YOU’RE SO SEXY AND PRETTY.” and when my friends were like, “Ya we didn’t recognized you” I was like excuse me, how dare you guys think the work me is ACTUAL ME. Actually, scratch that, it kind is since I’m lazy as hell but my god, I live through life surprising the hell out of people. LIKE IT’S RUDE, just because I wear big glasses and baggy clothes at work does not mean I CANNOT BE PRETTY out of work. They were asking me where I was going and I said… “Oh going to dinner with friends” while buying food and one of my co workers was like, “And then the night club?” and my friend and I were like, “no no… that’s bad” I wasn’t discreet at all when a co worker walked by as my friend was quizzing me on my “ID.”
But ya, I was so happy last night. I actually got into a 21+ club with a friend’s ID! I was being all cool when the security was like to my friend, “I don’t even want to try pronouncing your name.” and I pointed at my “license” asking, “Can you pronounce mine?” and he laughed and let us through. When you have a vagina, the world is your oyster. In a sense.
But YA, I met so many new people and it was awesome. I told this guy I was a lesbian and he still wanted to be friends so I’m totally down to hang out with him. He even introduced me to his friend who’s into girls too but like I said, I’m at the place where I don’t care about girls right now so I wasn’t that into her as I was into the guy. The girl was cute but then again, I was drunk. He even offered to buy me a drink knowing I’m gay! Then after the club, this guy was like, “I love your hair!” and I was like, “Oh my God, are you gay?” and he was like, “YASSSSSS” and we hugged and I was like, “I’M GAY TOO. Do you like red heads? You have to meet my friend! He’s so cute!” So Yup, got his number and his name was Carlos but I was so drunk, I put his name on my phone as CNA2. Please don’t judge. Then his friend was like, “You’re a lesbian? You’re so cute! Can we kiss?” and I was like, “Are you gay?” and she was like, “No but I”m questioning.” and I was like, “No, I don’t kiss straight girls.” and her friend was like, “No no, it’s no joke, she’s seriously questioning, even after all this time, she still doesn’t know if she like girls or not.” and she was like, “I WANT TO KISS YOU.” AND I WAS LIKE, “I DON’T KISS STRAIGHT GIRLS” over and over again, but her friends kept pressuring me and I was like, “FINE.” and we kissed for a couple of times and THEN the gay guy was like, “Can we kiss?” and I was like, “I DON’T KISS GUYS.” and they were like, “But he’s gay!” and it’s LIKE THEY’RE TRYING TO PASS LIKE MONO TO ME BECAUSE THEY’RE MAD AT THE WORLD OR SOMETHING. SO YA, I kissed a gay guy yesterday too and then THE STRAIGHT GUY ASKED FOR A KISS BUT NO, that is the last straw so I just kissed him on the cheeks. But ya, the straight guy works with rave events so he said, “Come to safe and sound with us! I’ll get you tickets.” and I was like, “OKAY!” but of course, I offered to pay him back as always, even if he’s working with the events. If not, I don’t care, last night was crazy enough. I’m starting to meet more cool guys that doesn’t care what my sexuality is and is still down to hang with me :’)
So ya, after ALL that in the parking lot, I met my friend’s ex girlfriend and she was like, “Is she the lesbian?” and my friend was like, “Yes, my ex girlfriend here is bi.” and I was like, “Oh cool!” and she was like, “YOU’RE SO CUTE!” blahblahblah, ya so she drove me home and HAHAHA, the look on my mom’s face when I brought her in the house. “Oh hell no, you did NOT just bring a black girl into the house.” but c’mon, she was something else, I forgot what my friend said. She was saying how we should do this again next weekend so yup, I’m down to party hard until I sell my soul away.
HAHAHA, as I was puking outside of her car, she was like, “It’s okay, I’m not judging. Next time, just eat before you drink.”
Even though I was a trashy lesbian, straight men and questioning girls still want to hang out with me.
~keepin’ it real~
“Essentially college debt is like HPV. If you go to college, you’re almost certainly going to get it.”
stay in school, kids.